Most f**ked up Wii-game ever?

May 17, 2009

Holy. Friggin’. Shit. I almost died from laughing too hard. The japanese certainly are an odd sort of people. Will we see this game in Europe? Probably not.

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Getting older is a bitch

April 26, 2008

I just had my ass handed to me by what I’m guessing is a 14-year old kid.

During five grueling minutes I was utterly humiliated in an online game of “Mario Strikers Charged Football” on the Wii. I was run over, dazzled and crushed by this kid with the kind of lightning fast reflexes and tremendous skills that only someone that has yet to finish puberty and has too much free time on their hands can ever possess.

I’m not a bad gamer in any way. I’ve played endless hours of various games, both online and offline, on my own and against others, with great success. But being over thirty with a job and every day life going on, I don’t have six hours every day to devote to every new game that hits the market. I’d like to, but I don’t and I never will. This is why from here on as soon as a new game comes out and I decide to play it against others online I’ll surely find myself being destroyed by teenagers again and again.

I’m pretty much at peace with this fact though. I just wish that there was some secluded area online where us old timers could graze and play amongst ourselves without having to deal with the angst of combatting hyperactive teeny gamers. Maybe there is such a place, and I just don’t know about it. If so, someone please enlighten me.

Too me, it’s no longer as much about winning as it used to. It’s more about experiencing the games and enjoying them for what they are – exquisite works of digital art. If I get my ass handed to me by another gamer, I don’t mind as long as it was a fair fight and I enjoyed myself.

Speaking of which, I just bought “Warhawk” for the PS3 and I look forward to getting my ass kicked time and time again.


At least I’m not alone

November 29, 2007

So I’ve been thinking lately that maybe I’ve downloading a bit too many Virtual Console games for my Wii. But this article on IGN made me feel alright again.

Apparently I’m not the only one going crazy for the retro goodness of Virtual Console. Since the release of the Wii not even a year ago 7.8 million games have been downloaded, for a total sum of about $33 million!

The coverage on Destructoid also made me wonder exactly how much I’ve forked over to Nintendo for my frequent trips down memory lane. So here’s my list:

  • Super Mario Bros (500 Wii Points)
  • Kid Icarus (500 Wii Points)
  • Ice Climber (500 Wii Points)
  • Gradius (500 Wii Points)
  • Punch-Out!! (500 Wii Points)
  • Mega Man (500 Wii Points)
  • Metroid (500 Wii Points)
  • Xevious (500 Wii Points)
  • R-Type (800 Wii Points)
  • Super Castlevania IV (800 Wii Points)
  • Gunstar Heroes (800 Wii Points)
  • Super Metroid (800 Wii Points)
  • Donkey Kong Country (800 Wii Points)
  • Mario Kart 64 (1000 Wii Points)
  • Super Mario 64 (1000 Wii Points)

That’s a total of 10000 Wii Points. Not that much, but still quite a few.

Oh well, at least now I know that there are many that share my obsession with the past. So how much have you guys spent on Virtual Console games? And be honest 😉


Game companies, give us your spoils

November 7, 2007

Every now and again it happens that a much anticipated game gets canceled or for some other reason never gets released.

In recent memory there’s “Manhunt 2” which was stopped completely but has since then, after it’s developer Rockstar Games had censored parts of the game, been released for the PlayStation 2, Nintendo Wii and PSP in the US. Europe has yet to see it’s release since the BBFC rejected even the modified version of the game.

Also there is the case of “Project H.A.M.M.E.R.”, a game for the Nintendo Wii announced at E3 2006 which received much initial interest from the gaming community, myself included. The prospect of playing a raging cyborg armed with a huge hammer in his quest to cause massive blunt-force trauma to evil alien robots was one hard to pass on, especially considering the Wii’s controls. The Wiimote was practically made for games like this.

However, for reasons unknown “Project H.A.M.M.E.R.” will probably never see the light of day since Nintendo decided to cancel or “pause” indefinitely it’s development earlier this year.

When I read about this I was beside myself with disappointment and quite a bit pissed off, that’s how much I’d been looking forward to crushing malevolent robots with my Wiimote.

Why Nintendo would decide to cancel a game that has already received a fair bit of push and exposure, and that there has obviously existed some sort of playable demo of for well over a year, is beyond me. I think it’s a waste and really stupid.

But OK, so they will not finish “Project H.A.M.M.E.R.” and I’ll have to live with that, but what about that demo that they showed at E3 last year? Could we have that? Slap it up on The Shopping Channel and make it a cheap download. That would at least make me a little happier. At least then we can crush a couple of robots and delight in some aggressive flailing of the Wiimote, even if it’s not a full game.

As a matter of fact, why doesn’t the game companies do the same for other titles that get canceled but are still kind of playable? I’m sure plenty of gamers would be willing to fork over $5 or something like that for a small morsel of what could’ve been. I know I certainly would.

The “Manhunt 2” story got a lot funnier a couple of weeks ago when it was widely reported that the fully playable uncensored version for the PS2 was available for download in various locations. It made me chuckle to say the least, but it was no surprise – I knew this would happen sooner or later.

The gaming world wants “Manhunt 2” and it wants it unedited and uncensored. I’m not saying that the final release isn’t a great game even though lots of gore has been taken out of it, but the uncensored version is really the game as it was meant to be, and that’s way the gamers want it.

It’s later been revealed that the leak that put the game out there for download was someone working at Sony in Europe. Normally I wouldn’t condone this sort of behavior, making intellectual property available for illegal download I mean, but in this case I say give the guy a friggin’ medal!

I have no idea why this guy took the risk and did what he did, but I’m hoping it has to do with him being someone who actually gives a shit about gaming as an art form and understands that as such the uncensored game deserves to be made available.

More than anything though, this effectively shows that censorship doesn’t work and is just plain stupid. Just like me and my friends found a way to get uncut copies of gory horror movies back when I was a teenager, as long as an uncensored version exists of a game or any other kind of media, it will eventually end up in the hands of those who really want it.

So let grown ups decide for themselves what they want to play or watch. Period. Censorship is stupid and doesn’t work.

And give us the spoils of your canceled projects. Now.


And the Idiot-Of-The-Month award goes to…

October 22, 2007

Akira Yamaoka, the sound designer for “Silent Hill V”! In a recent interview on Wired this Konami employee is quited as saying in response to if there will be a version of said game for the Nintendo Wii:

No plans. The Wii user isn’t a hardcore user.

What the fuck?! I’m so friggin’ tired of all this “hardcore gamer” bullshit. I love the Nintendo Wii, I can play it for hours and hours until my hands bleed, and I play all kinds of games too.

Sure, I play “Wii Sports” like a maniac at times, and I indulge myself in a lot of retro gaming courtesy of the Virtual Console. And of course I love that silly plumber and just about every game he’s been featured in, especially the “Mario Kart” series. But I also play games like “Resident Evil 4”, which is as hardcore as they come with it’s gallons of blood splatter and delicious horrors galore, and I’ve been looking forward to the gruesome and very adult “Manhunt 2” for the Wii since practically forever.

But apparently I’m not “hardcore” since I’m playing the Wii and not an easily overcooked red-ring-of-death flashing Xbox 360 or an overpriced brick with less than five good games like the PlayStation 3. Give me a break…

I’ve got a big “fuck you” right here for Mr. Yamaoka and anybody else that insists on this “Wii is not for hardcore gamers” crap. In fact, I’ll take on anybody claiming this in the steel cage and we’ll see who’s hardcore or not. And Akira, that means you too. Bring it on bitch.


11 days ’til Samus

October 15, 2007

Do you own a Nintendo Wii? Is it hooked up to the internet?

Well then… Have you downloaded the free preview clips of “Metroid Prime 3: Corruption” yet?

If not… WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!?

The clips are very cool and if I was interested in this game before I’m completely obsessed with it now. I’m so happy that the really awesome games finally are starting to pour over the Wii, just like it deserves.

October 26th will be a glorious day in video gaming history, that I am sure of.


Hilarious competition! Win a Wii!

September 16, 2007

If I didn’t already own a Nintendo Wii and could get my friggin’ webcam to work on my Linux-box I’d so enter this: